4: Mythbusting
The collective human consciousness already has an idea of what hypnosis is, and that has evolved a lot over time, including lots of growing pains. Most people have preexisting ideas of what it is and how it works from pieces of fiction, their own fantasies, or depictions of it elsewhere. It’s important that we get some of these out of the way to make room for the real deal!
Both the hypnotist and subject partner benefit a LOT from having these myths busted. Part of a good hypnotic interaction—especially with someone who’s new to hypnosis—is making sure that they have a decent understanding of hypnosis so they can go in the right direction for it.
1) Hypnosis =/= mind control and hypnosis =/= automatic safety
On two opposite sides: Some people fear that being hypnotized will make them incapable of resisting suggestions, and some people feel a false sense of security that some unconscious part of themselves will keep them safe no matter what. As with many such declarations, the truth is somewhere in the middle.
Hypnotized people retain agency and awareness in trance, but as always, expressing agency is a skill. Hypnosis too can be an unfamiliar mental environment, so this is something that people can (and should) work on together to maintain great practices.
2) Hypnosis =/= suggestibility
It is tempting to think that hypnotic trance in and of itself is what makes people respond to suggestions. But the reality is much more complex! People who are “awake” can respond very well to suggestions, and it’s the delivery and context around suggestions that really get people to have intense experiences.
3) Hypnosis =/= blankmindedness or involuntariness
Many beginners—especially subjects!—think that if someone is REALLY hypnotized, they should stop thinking and feel like they’re responding to suggestions completely automatically. This is a big misconception! While a lot of people want their inner monologue or racing thoughts to stop, that’s not a given characteristic of hypnosis, and it’s way more likely to occur with practice! It’s also definitely not necessary for a fulfilling, intense trance—what trance ACTUALLY feels like might be subtler than people expect, but when they open themselves up to noticing the nuances of it, they can have amazing experiences with their thoughts just chugging along. Lots of subjects come to find that their real experience of hypnosis is better than the one they first imagined!
In the same vein, it’s completely normal for a subject to feel like they’re actively participating in hypnosis. Some people have a hard time telling the difference between being hypnotized and just doing what they’re told, but that’s a muscle that gets developed over time.
4) Hypnosis =/= relaxation
Many people are attracted to hypnosis, and especially hypnokink, because the idea is exciting! It’s far from necessary to relax to accomplish effective hypnosis—in fact, sometimes people tense up or get physically excited! That’s not “getting it wrong” at all.
Hypnosis can be a great tool for relaxation in the way that it’s a great tool for shifting your headspace in general. Plus, many people physically relax into hypnosis, which may seem contradictory to an intense internal process. But like so much else with hypnosis, you can learn to hold nuance as part of what makes it work for you. Relaxing in hypnosis doesn’t look like any one thing if that’s what you are attempting.
5) Hypnotic suggestions =/= “real” experience
Hypnosis is really unlike anything else, no matter what kinds of comparisons we try to make (“It’s like reading a book,” “It’s like dreaming”). When you expect something that isn’t quite what the reality brings, it’s hard not to get discouraged when it doesn’t fit. But take with you an attitude of curiosity—encourage yourself and your partner to see this as an opportunity to learn what hypnosis REALLY feels like.
Hypnotic suggestions are designed to influence a subject’s internal experience. These can feel really vivid and intense. However, it’s very common for someone to know in the moment that their perception of reality has changed because of hypnosis. That is, if you tell a hypnotic subject that they’re a puppy, even if they start acting like a puppy, and feeling strongly as though they imagine a puppy to feel, a part of them will remain aware that they are a human on all fours. Many subjects see experiences like this as failure, expecting to fully let this other reality totally blot out the one they held when they were awake.
Hypnotic hallucinations, amnesia, roleplay, whatever—they exist in their own mental space you and your partner as hypnotic players will get to know. Like everything else about hypnosis, learning what that means for you, and watching it evolve over time, might be different than what you imagine, but also even better.
